Inventing in progress

Well, I couldn’t really think of something that awesome and helpful that I could share with you guys.

All things I’ve come across lately on the internet were just some gadgets and gizmos or nicely designed things that soon would end up on the attic with other non-used things.

But since the holidays are coming I’ve reminded myself of what really annoys me during a backpacked trips.

The weight of  a backpack. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if there was a way to minimize the weight of it? (Yeah, I know- take less stuff and it’ll be ok). Just imagine how great it would be if you could take all the things you need for vacations and there was a weight limit of a backpack- and it would always weight the same.

Maybe I just thought of it because my favorite backpack’s carrying straps started falling apart from it… It just waits for me to go for a trip to the mountains and then the backpack straps will fall off... ;-)  

Did you really think through your order…?

I don’t know if you will find this story funny… I was more confused than amused at the time :-)

Me and my friends went to the seaside and after some sightseeing we’ve got hungry and started searching for a place where we could have lunch. 

We found this small take-away bar where you can buy a hot-dog, hamburger, fries and so on, but nothing on the menu (except fries) was vegetarian.  After looking on the menu for some dish I could just modify a bit while placing my order to be meat-free- I got to the counter and politely asked:

-          Can I have a ‘kebab’ but without meat in it, please..? (I know that it sounded a bit absurd…At least I was trying! ;-) )

-          A ‘kebab’ without meat?!- I felt I needed to explain what I meant by ordering such a thing so I replied:

-          Yes, well, in my town we call it ‘knysza’ or ‘pita’ with vegetables. Can I have just a bread roll with vegetables and sauce, please? – At this point I though everything was ok and in a moment I will have my lunch. But no.

-          Well… you could ask me for a “vegetarian bread roll”- Said the lady behind the counter after few seconds. So finally I knew what was the name of food I wanted to eat and gladly I ordered:

-          Can I have a ‘vegetarian bread roll’, please..?

-          Why of course!

And I must say it was a pretty tasty piece of bread roll filled with vegetables and sauce...!

FASHION, SHOES & POLICE

I was looking for some inventing made only for girls and I found it! What is the most girlish thing in a world? High heels shoes, of course! Even little girls know that shoes are important in women’s life and that a new pair of shoes can change your life - Cinderella is a proof of that :)

Have a look at this odd-looking shoes inspired by shape of a police car. It has LED lights which one can turn on and off. Girls do you want your shoes to be shining blue and red lights? Boys do you want this shoes to be a part of Polish police officers uniform?

EURO 2012- MISTAKE

Honestly I had no idea what to write as a funny story until I’ve red this news about EURO 2012! Unfortunately  it’s a black humour... unfortunately it’s about our country.

Yesterday, on the internet appeared an article about linguistic mistake on Polish EURO 2012 advertising campaign.  Poland wants to be seen as a friendly and hospitable nation so the EURO 2012 advertising experts  invented a slogan: “FEEL LIKE AT HOME”. The point is that there is a mistake in this sentence. Andy Edwins (an English translator) said that this phrase doesn’t exists in his language. One can say: “feel at home” or “feel like you’re at home”.

To sum up I thought that it is a myth that Polish people say “shit’s going around me” if they “don’t care”… but as we can see even specialists makes this kind of mistakes. And I’m wonder how it is possible that no one noticed this mistake before hundreds of poster were ploted?

Plastic surgery? Never again!

You can saw in Bartek's post, that the Japanese have incredible ideas and can make life easier. I think that their minds have no limits in inventing new things. They specilised in inventing new technologies (robots, machines) which are very interesting for men but recently they made also something for female part their society.
A lot of women want to look like Hollywood stars, but everybody knows that it cost a lot and it's really painfull. The Japanese say: plastic surgery, botox and pain? Never again!

They invented a few little gadgets to end problems with wrinkles, crooked nose and tired face.
A lot of women in Japan don't like their flat nose and want to have more european nose shape. With help of this clips they can make it.












Another gadgets are to wrinkles reduction on face, under eyes or around the mouth. They look a little bit funny - like a mask or glasses made of rubber.


 It's also something to mix a nice massage with firming the skin.                                                        

The producer say that this gadgets give amazing results and it's enough to wear it half an hour per day.
As you see the Japanese have many ideas to change our lifes.

P.S. I've got problems with pasting photoś so you can watch all this gadgets under link below.
Link:
http://www.papilot.pl/twarz-i-cialo/16963/Japonskie-gadzety-odmladzajace-wygladaja-podejrzanie-ale-podobno-dzialaja.html  

“PROJECT GLASS” – the glasses of the future

        The Project Glass is a very interesting gadget that is going to let people use the functions actually available to the most smartphone users in the unusual way: in the form of glasses. This glasses will be able to display different types of information, from the text messages through the reminders, ending on the interactive maps. The device is going to be operated via voice commands. The glasses are being created in the Google’s Google X’s laboratory which has worked on other futuristic technologies such as “self-driving car” or “space elevator”. Google didn’t give a specific date when the glasses are going to be available to use (unconfirmed sources say about the end of the 2012), but the device is already being tested by engineers outside the laboratory building.

There is a film that can help visualize what the glasses are:

THE ANECDOTE

COINCIDENCE

Story from my life. This is more black humor, but still funny :)

        A few years ago there was my grandfather’s funeral in my hometown, and because of that all family arrived to participate in this ceremony. After funeral some of them stayed for the night in my uncle’s house, to rest before the way back. And, in the morning of the next day after funeral, me, my mother and father were driving to my uncle’s house to see our family from Świnoujście,  but they didn’t know that we’re coming, and we knew, that they are going to leave soon, so my father was riding really fast.

        Suddenly,  we saw the policeman that was giving the signs to my father to stop. When we did so, the policeman of course asked for the documents and said to my father, that he had been speeding for about 80 km per hour, while there is speed limit to 40. And just because my father (like probably every driver) wanted to avoid the mandate, he started to explain: 

“Officer, I’m always an exemplary driver, but there is an unusual situation. It was my father’s funeral yesterday, and my cousins, up from Świnoujście, had arrived there. They are going to leave soon, and we see each other so rarely,  so we wanted to meet them before they’re gone. That’s the reason why you had to stop me.”

        The officer was thinking for a while.

“I see…  From Świnoujście you’re saying?” – asked enigmatically.

“Yes.” – my father confirmed.

“And maybe you’re going to say, your cousin last name is Juszkiewicz?” – the policeman asked.

        My father looked at him suspiciously and said:

“Yes.”

“If so, there’s no need to hurry anymore. They’re gone now. About ten minutes ago they took their own mandate and departed.” – the policeman smiled.

        We were surprised and of course we were laughing out loud of this situation, but the officer didn’t finish yet.

“Somebody’s trying to lie me here.” – he said very seriously.

“Why do you think so?” – now my father was confused.

“Because they said, that they’re harrying FOR the funeral…”

I can’t remember if the officer gave my father a mandate or not, but this situation still gives me the reasons to smile :)

SIMON'S CAT

I like cats very much! They are beautiful and intelligent but also very funny. One of the funniest cat on the world there is Simon’s cat!

“Simon’s Cat” is a series of animated movies created by Simon Tofielda. Each episode presents a hungry domestic cat, which uses a very clever and funny ways to tell its owner that it needs something to eat.

“Simon’s Cat” is very successful. The first film of series, entitled “Cat Man Do”, won the award for the best comedy in 2008. In the same year the second film- “Let Me In!”, won the award for the most amazing animation.



Simon Tofield with his cat



In October 2009 was published polish version of the book “Simon’s Cat. In His very Own Book” with funny stories and pictures. In October 2010 was published the second part of book- “Simon's Cat. Behind The Fence”.

Stories about Simon’s cat are really funny!
I would like to present three of them:

ALARM CLOCKS FOR NIGHT OWLS!

On the world there are people who get up easily with first sunbeams. There are also people who think that 7 o’clock is a heart of the night. They usually keep late hours and have really big problems to wake up in the morning. I would like to present great rousing inventions:

SPHERE ALARM CLOCK

Sphere Alarm Clock consists of the ball which hangs down from the ceiling. When the alarm is sounding, you must turn it off by touching the ball. This turns off the signal for 10 minutes, later the ball goes up. With each alarm signal, you'll need to rise your hand higher. When the clock reaches the ceiling, you have to get up from bed and pull the ball to the bottom- then the alarm disappears.

PUZZLE ALARM CLOCK

Main elements of this alarm clock there are four pieces of the puzzle. The clock spreads them through the room and sounds at the same time. The alarm will not turn off until you gather and arrange precisely all of the puzzle.

ANEMONE CLOCK

Anemone Clock is unusual because when the alarm sounds, the clock jumps in all directions away from the bed. What is more, when you get up and catch it, it still shakes, making it difficult to find a good button to turn it off.

CLOCKY

Clocky is the next escaping alarm clock. It has got two big wheels and when the alarm sounds, the clock goes to distant parts of the room. You may keep it on your bedside because it is designed to falling down from 1,5 m.

FLYING ALARM CLOCK

Flying Alarm Clock is also the escaping clock, but it seems to be more efficient. The clock is equipped with a propeller. When the alarm clock wakes, propeller breaks away from the clock. To turn off the alarm you must find the propeller and put it in a suitable place.

SONIC BOMB ALARM CLOCK

Sonic Bomb Alarm Clock is connected with a vibrating pad, which you must put under the pillow. When the alarm rings, the pad vibrates and as the result you don’t have a possibility to sleep.

ALARM CLOCK FOR THRIFTY PEOPLE

According to me, it’s the best alarm clock! It is connected with your bank account. When you turn on the slumber, alarm clock connects with your account and  transfer some money to pre-selected charity.

CARPET ALARM CLOCK

Carpet Alarm Clock rings really unpleasantly. Alarm stops when you stand with both feet on the rug.

Alarm clocks presented above are great inventions and they may be helpful in waking up for sure. However the best way to getting up easily in the morning there is going to the bed earlier the previous evening!

Funny story from tram

My roommate was on a tram in Wrocław. Next to her, was sitting black student. As soon as he saw pregnant lady getting on into tram-car he stood up in order to give up his place to her. Before he managed to ask her to sit down, his sit was already taken by an old beldam. Student looked down on her and said:
Excuse me, but I've made place for that woman.
As he was saying that he pointed to pregnant lady. Old hag, looking straight into his eyes replied with disdain:
In my country, one is supposed to give up his place to people like me!
His reply was hilarious:
-In my country, one is supposed to eat people like you!

My incredible invention!

My dream is to build a stargate according to my own design. Its purpose would be transport of people and inanimate objects on large (inter or intragalactic) distances. Its principle of operation would base on creation of stable time-space tunnels. Stargate would consist of 9 catches on outside ring and 39 or 36 symbols on outer ring. Usually, stargate would be 6.7 m in diameter and weight 29 tons.
Construction would be made of heavy mineral called “Naqahdah”. Gate always have to remain vertical, otherwise it would be impossible to fully utilize it.

Humour - Kids know better

When I think of something funny, first thing which comes to my mind are really ridiculous interviews with children. Kids are answering questions about many aspects of life, for example what is love or who is a student. Their responses are very entertaining, so if you are having a bad day, just listen to one of these intervievs ;)

"Who is a student?"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3xmJ_zuMYlU&feature=relmfu

"What is love?"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXaOU5YVDI0&feature=relmfu

Anecia Safety Capsule

I would like to show you extraordinary protection of children during driving.
Janusz Liberkowski is a Pole living in the United States in Silicon Valley in California. A few years ago lost his only daughter in a car accident. She was 21 years old and rode with her boyfriend who later committed suicide.  After their death Liberkowski wanted to develop a super safe car but he knew that it was too difficult for the market. So he started on car seat for babies. His safety capsule called from the name of the tragically dead daughter, Aneta. Idea of the invention is that the child was in a capsule covering two hemispheres inserted one into the other. Outside is protective and inside where the child is pinned, moves free in the outside hemisphere. This protect children from dangerous accident. Impact can only swing or spin the inside hemisphere. Child will not fall out of the capsule and belts aren't to hurt him.

If you have some time you can watch this short video. There is an interview with Janusz Liberkowski and some interesting facts about this invention.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qWCbo9a-gDI

Ania P.

Feng Shui, is it works?

Feng shui Is all about balance. Try to arrange sofas and chairs in a square around a circular table. Avoid an L-shaped arrangement as this leaves a missing corner. The centre of the living room should be left clear. Make sure there is a lot of light, which will promote good energy.

For example a bookcase is bad feng shui, as its sharp corners generate negative “arrows”, and if you have one you ought to put a climbing plant on it to combat this effect.

In my opinion, feng shui really works. For example to promote harmony between the members of family, have photos of them around the room, preferably smiling.

To avoid blocking the positive energy in the room, keep everything tidy. Don’t accumulate to many unnecessary things. Take a look at every object, and ask yourself, “do I really need it?” If the answer is no, get rid of it, especially in student’s room before exam session :)

Christmas tree...

I would like to tell you something funny that heppened two years ago.
It was Chrismatas so I and my roommate wanted to make a pleasant atmosphere in our Wroclaw apartment. We went to the basement for a christmas tree but we didn't know which basement is our. So we walked and checked the doors to fit our keys. And we found! We went into the center and it was something strange. No one came there for half a year and there were bags of varoius vegetables and fruits such as potatoes, apples etc. I thought that something is wrong but I checked again the doors and everything was ok. We found a Christmas tree, little balls, chains and other ornaments and went back to the flat. Christmas tree was beautiful (as in student opportunities:)). Then we went home for Christmas. At this time owner of flat came to the apartment in Wroclaw. She called to us and said: "You have a beautiful Christmas tree but you didn't have bring it from home. I have a one in the basement and you could take my." I was in a shocked! It turned out that we took from someone else Chrismats tree basement and our key fit to the two basements. It was so funny misunderstanding but in a fact we "stolen" a Christmas tree! :)
When we returned to Wroclaw, we packed up the Christmas tree and put it to basement. We also left a note: "Sorry!!!". Since then we don't even think about the Christmas tree for Christmas. What's more, a neighbor exchanged locks in the basement. :)

I took memorial photo of "our" Chrismas tree so I can show it to you.

Ania P.

Anecdote, english humour about animals.

 This is abstract story, but it's funny. A piece of english sense of humour.

One day a tortoise was walking away along the middle of the long wet Road. It was raining. He wasn’t looking where he was going and he crashed into a snail which was crossing the road. The tortoise disappeared into the crowd, but the snail was injured. An ambulance arrived and took him to hospital. After three days snail felt better and was sitting up in bed. The police came to interview him and showed him photos of different tortoises to see if he could identify the one who had hit him. After seeing fifty photos of identical tortoises, the snail started crying and said:

...I’m sorry. I can’t remember. Everything happened so FAST. :)

"The Pythons" - icons of surreal humor

"The Pythons"

I usually don't take delight in cabarets or stand-up comedians, but there is a few exception of that "rule". Some really classic artist like Kabaret Moralnego Niepokoju or Stanisław Tym really makes me laugh. However, my favourite kinds of humor are irony, abstract humor and puns, therefore I love Monty Python group. 

This brilliant British comedy group who created (among others) television shows called "Monty Python's Flying Circus".As John Cleese said, their aim was also to criticise conservative british society and homophobia using skeches and jokes. Their shows were full of surreal humor, absurds and farce. British love that kind of humor and "The Pythons" are mostly considered as thier "nation comedian group". Members of Pythons was: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle, Terry Jones and Michael Palin. Who don't remember John Cleese or statement "And now for something completely different" ? ;)

Apart from great ideas and acting one of the most recognized elements in their 
shows was ... form of the programme, narrowly - collage stop motion animations, mostly done by Terry Gilliam.


Here are some links:

Serial Mureder(polish subtitles, as I couldn't find original):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=UIrX_di3J9s
The Parrot Sketch(original english video):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=npjOSLCR2hE